A little more on dreams.

I've been having disturbing dreams lately.  Not like, murder-zombies-exam anxiety dreams.  I had a dream I was truly happy.  With a past boyfriend.  Whose face wasn't visible, and whose name was unfamiliar to me.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I've been having a lot of dreams in the past week about past boyfriends and trying to reunite with them.  I've awakened quite shaken (ooo, a rhyme!) from these dreams because as I've mentioned in past posts, I've spent almost a year now (approximately 10 months and 21 days) mentally letting go of my most recent relationship.  The fact that I'm having relationship dreams again weirds me out.  I don't want to date anyone.  I don't want to be a "we."  I'm not ready to open up to anybody.

 I knew it was a past boyfriend, and I knew we were happy - like, comfortable-satisfied-settled-down-ready-to-get-married happy.  He held me in his arms and we talked about how happy we were.  And this disturbed me, both in my dream and when I awakened.

It disturbed me because while he was holding me (get ready to be confused), dream-Maddie was not content internally.  In the dream I told him I was happy, too, but something in my chest (again, in the dream) told me it was wrong.  Dream-Maddie didn't speak up.  It also disturbed me because in the nights before this dream, I'd dreamt quite the opposite:  I was trying to win back an old boyfriend, and he was paying me no attention.  In some cases he was actively avoiding me.  Anyone have any insight with this one?

Comments

[Emma]

Maybe your unconscious is trying to tell you that, despite how difficult it is to get over those past bfs and how nice you might imagine it to be with him, you won't truly be happy/secure in that relationship.

In one case, you are with him in the "ready for marriage" state, but internally you feel that you're settling. In another case, you are chasing after him, but he wasn't giving you the attention you require. It seems like you are starting to see that the past bfs weren't the right people for you, because they were either giving you too little or too much attention. I know you'll find someone who can give you just enough (like Goldilocks)!!